I don't understand and I have decided to quit trying!

I use to find myself often searching online for "how to be the best aunt" and "how to be the best grandmother"

So I would type, “I don’t know how to be a good aunt” and "I don’t know how to be a good grandmother" to see what answers might come up. There was something in my search that set right with me, made me realize why I was searching and I kept thinking of what I was actually feeling to make me turn to an online search to even try and get an answer.

How many of you aunts/grammy's have ever felt this way? I feel like I go way beyond as a grammy and I believe my grandsons are happy with me. But as an aunt I guess I suck because my niece's and nephews hate me. I tried I really did but there just wasn't/isn't a connection there.

There’s always been a lot of distance between where I live and where they live, [niece's/nephews] and so I didn't get to see them regularly as they grew up, or get to see them in most of their favorite activities.  But I've done the best I could to build on relationships with them when I was near them and make sure they always know that even though I’m not perfect, I still love them with all of my heart. What am I doing wrong though??

When Katie was on the way they lived in NY and I lived in Texas. I missed my family and didn't see them much and then all of a sudden this baby was on the way, and I knew with certainty that I wanted to be a good aunt. Even though I had no idea how to go about becoming a good aunt.

Several ladies that I spoken with have a similar feeling of not being able to be a good aunt, this “less than” feeling that made them feel like they were not a good aunt I was feeling it too.  In some cases, there are strained family relationships that take nieces and nephews out of reach of aunts who would love to be more involved with them. Sometimes the separation happens because of the demands of an aunt’s career or distance. Sometimes there’s no tangible reason to pinpoint why the aunt/niece/nephew relationship never really takes off. This is true not only with biological relationships but also with the children of a good aunt’s closest friends. At least that's what I have been told, ugh!

I've learned that being a good aunt is about intention (actively cultivating the relationship in whatever way works) and attention (spending time letting the children know they’re important to you). I have done that in many different ways. As they were growing up I have always told them "I love you" and gave them big HUGS. Beyond that, there’s no magic recipe. There’s no search engine that can guarantee you’ll be a good aunt. But what if you are trying so hard and they still hate you?

There are as many different ways to be a good aunt as there are different aunts and different nieces and nephews. I've been told by an expert in the field that it may take a lot of trial and error to figure out what works best with the children in my life. That I may even discover that what works perfectly with one child doesn't work at all with another. Also that If I'm really struggling, she encourages me to enlist the help of the children’s parents, to help me figure this out. She also says the most important part of a relationship is that it must go both ways. The children will grow up and they must also try to have a good relationship with me. Well mine DO NOT and they are grown. The nephews have come around some in the last two years living closer to me. I've learned a lot from them and that has helped me. But the niece's NOPE! 

I have given up I think, just accepting the "NO CONNECTION" part of it. I let it break my heart way too much and its time to let go ... Have any advice to share about what makes a good aunt? I’d love to hear it...

Proverbs 11:29 ESV 

Whoever troubles his own household will inherit the wind, and the fool will be servant to the wise 

1 Peter:2 1-3 ESV

So then, stop doing anything to hurt others. Don’t lie anymore, and stop trying to fool people. Don’t be jealous or say bad things about others.  Like newborn babies hungry for milk, you should want the pure teaching that feeds your spirit. With it you can grow up and be saved.  You have already tasted the goodness of the Lord.

Veggie Food Nut.

I'm really a veggie food nut. I love anything that is filled with sweet tasting cooked veggies. I'm always trying to find new healthy yummy meatless veggies dishes on line. So today I found this one and looking forward to fixing this for our dinner tonight! Thought I would share it with ya'll.

Meatless Stuffed Peppers:

A savory blend of rice, herbs, and vegetables fill hollowed-out bell peppers in this great meatless entree.

2 teaspoons canola or olive oil
1/2 large onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, chopped, divided
2 tablespoons uncooked white rice
1/3 cup vegetable broth
2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley
1/3 cup chopped fresh mushrooms
1 egg
2 tablespoons dry bread crumbs
1 1/2 teaspoons reduced sodium soy sauce
1 teaspoon paprika
2 large bell peppers (green, red or orange!)
1/2 8-ounce can crushed tomatoes
2 tablespoons red wine or cooking sherry
1 1/2 tablespoons tomato paste

Preheat oven to 350 degrees *F. Heat oil in a medium skillet over medium heat. Sauté onions and 1 garlic clove until onions are translucent. Add rice and sauté 2 minutes. Stir in vegetable broth, cover and cook until rice is done, about 15 minutes.

Meanwhile, in a large bowl combine parsley, mushrooms, eggs, bread crumbs, soy sauce, paprika, and cooked rice. Slice the tops off of the peppers; save tops. Core peppers and stuff with rice mixture. Replace tops on peppers.

In a shallow baking dish combine tomatoes, wine, tomato paste and remaining garlic clove. Place peppers in dish and cover. Bake in preheated oven for about 30 minutes.




Asparagus Salad:
A combination of fresh greens and lemon zest makes this salad the perfect light veggetable side dish


12 spears of thick asparagus, sliced into 1/4-inch thick coins
5 – 6 broccolini (or broccoli) florets, trimmed and cut into bite-sized pieces
1 1/2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
big pinch of salt
1 small shallot, chopped
3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
7 tiny radishes, washed trimmed and very thinly sliced
zest of one lemon
a bit of shaved parmesan

Wash the asparagus and broccolini well and set aside. Make the dressing by whisking together the lemon juice, salt, shallot and olive oil. Set aside.

To cook the asparagus, place a splash of olive oil along with a couple pinches of salt in a large skillet over medium-high heat. When the pan is hot add the asparagus and broccolini. Toss well and cover the skillet with a lid. Cook for one minute. Stir again, taste a piece, and cover again for another minute – but only if needed. You don’t want to overcook the vegetables here, they should be bright and with a bit of bite to them. When the vegetables are cooked, remove them from the heat and stir in the radishes and lemon zest. Taste, add a bit of salt if needed. Toss with 1/3 of the dressing, adding more as needed – as I mention up above, you might have a bit extra.

Turn everything out onto a platter and finish with some shaved Parmesan.

Grammy's World - "It is what it is.": Edible Maps

Grammy's World - "It is what it is.": Edible Maps: "Creating an Edible Map Suggested Grades 2+ Objective: Students will create a map and examine the physical geography, borders, and/or cit..."

Edible Maps

Creating an Edible Map

Suggested Grades

2+

Objective:

Students will create a map and examine the physical geography, borders, and/or cities/towns of an area.

Materials:
State map outline, Wax paper, plastic knife (for younger ones they will need parents help with this part) and pencil
2 cups smooth peanut butter
2 1/2 cups powdered milk
2 1/2 cups powdered sugar
2 cups white corn syrup
Blue icing
Chocolate chips
M & Ms
any other edible material you want to use for landmarks photocopies of map of area chosen to create Method

Distribute photocopies of maps and wax paper.
Mix first five ingredients together, and distribute equal amounts of dough to each student. This will be the 'base' of their map. They will put cookie dough on table, add wax paper on top, then add map outline on top. They can use the pencil to trace the map. Remove the outlined map and wax paper then cut the outlined map cookie with the plastic knife to look like the outlined map shape.

Students decorate their map:
Blue icing-- lakes, rivers, and oceans,
Chocolate chips-- mountains
Reeses chips-- wooded areas (trees)
M&Ms-- Capitals
skittles-- cities and towns
Add any other goodies you feel that can adapt to properties of state maps
Students compare and identify others' maps.
Eat!

You can also bake them in the oven at 350* for 8 min or until crisp for a peanut butter cookie effect. My kids liked them baked much better actually.

Have the child do a report on paper of the state they picked having them tell about the state flower, bird, tree, etc ...
The older the child the more detailed the report should become. This is an awesome project because the children love doing it and they remember their states info for years to come.

Signals of readiness for school

Ms Janey sent this to the homeschool group today and I found it VERY interesting and just had to share it!!! Hello all, If you are trying to teach a young child to read and having difficulties, I wanted to share some very useful information with you. I found this information over 25 years ago while I was 'teaching' at a private school the year before I started homeschooling. The book is called "Dyslexia in the Classroom," by Dale R. Jordan, Ph.D. The school had a dyslexia therapy program, and the teachers were trained at Scottish Rite Hospital which specializes (among other things) in testing dyslexic children. anyway, this book was given to all the teachers/workers in their mail boxes. The only thing I found really helpful (and I had 2 dyslexic children over the years) was this bit of information. It may not be anything new to you; it basically says that until a child's two top permanent teeth come in he is most likely not reading-ready. I just heard of the arm-to-ear test as another indicator of reading readiness: the child lifting his arms over his head and being able to touch the opposite ear as an indication of reading readiness. Here's the excerpt: "One of the most trustworthy signals of readiness for school success is the child's tooth structure. There appears to be approximately eighty-five percent correlation between the age at which a child's 'reading teeth'(top front permanent teeth) emerge and the time he masters classroom skills in listening, writing, use of phonics in reading and spelling, and arithmetic. Several hundred primary teachers have found this physical milestone to be true. A physical enzyme structure in involved in dissolving the roots of baby teeth, causing them to loosen and drop out. This enzyme activity occurs about the time the child is ready to settle down to the listening (attending) and producing tasks of first grade. A girl who is developmentally on shchedule should lose her first baby teeth by age six-and-one-half, usually during the fall of the first grade year. Most boys are six months later than girls in reaching this milestone in tooth development. As primary teachers know, far more boys have difficulty with beginning skills than girls. As a rule, boys do much better in school learning after they turn severn. Educators clearly need to review the common practice of starting all children to school according to birthdate. "Approximately eighty-five percent of the slow learners, late readers, and pupils place in slow achieving groups show late tooth development. These children often lose no baby teeth until age seven. I see many children each year who still have their baby teeth at age eight....Tooth development in relation to a child's age is 85% reliable in identifying boys and girls who will probably have difficulty with curriculum tasks on schedule. "For the classroom teacher, late maturity is a critical problem. Immature pupils cannot copy with grade-level expectations. They cannot internalize the concepts presented in daily lessons. They cannot yet transfer and generalize concepts, nor do they build a memory continuum of yesterday's facts as the stepping stones for today's activities. In Piaget's terms, they cannot conserve form nor can they manage transformations and reversibility. They are quickly bored, constantly restless, and overwhelmed by the load of the school day. They are not, however, children with learning disabilities. Their little bodies are not ready for school to cary work loads designed for seven-year-olds. Emotional problems, rebellion, unpopularity with peers, insecurity, and low self-esteem are generated when children are placed too soon in full academic expectations. We have unwittingly been inhumane to thousands of children who should have waited another year or two before being plunged into the fast-flowing academic stream. "A rule of thumb can serve as a cautionary guide in determining developmental maturity in chidlren. If a child still reverses symbols, has short attention span, displays poor fine motor control in writing, and cannot grasp phonetic principles after his top front permanent teeth have emerged, he is probably learning disabled. Eighty-five percent of the dyslexic children we see follow this pattern.....Once tooth development signals general body readiness for sustained curriculum learning, the children who still have problems are usually perceptually impaired." I would also add that Charlotte Mason's short lessons, varied subjects, and time outdoors all help to remedy the problems mentioned in that next to last paragraph.
Janey

Shared to me by my friend: Becky McGee Husband
http://www.facebook.com/stewecky
Thanks Becky!
Mary B.~~

I was recently privileged to read a young mans book (written from his heart and not yet published) and believe me he is "On Fire" for God in this book. I was so inspired by his writings but most importantly very blessed. There was a section in the book that really caught me in amazement. Not by what he said as much as how he said it. Its actually something God has been teaching me in my life in the last few months. So you can say it hit home in my heart and that's probably why I related to it. I'm going to write it here to share it with y'all. He starts the page out with quoting scripture and then adding his words afterwards.

Scripture: Matthew 28:18And Jesus came up and spoke to them, saying, "All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth".

Jonathan's words: That means he has the power over everything. David said in Psalm 62:11Once God has spoken; Twice I have heard this: That power belongs to God;

Jonathan's words: Satan has NO power! People have power through Christ . People have dominion over the earth through Christ . People decide whats to be done in the earth through Christ . People decide whats to be done in the world through Christ . Adam and Eve decided to eat the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil., because the devil (serpent) enticed them. We give the devil too much credit for whats wrong in the world, when we have the power to change everything through Christ . Satan has no power and no where to get it except from sinners. People today are diluted or in a state of delusion.

Proverbs 2:21,22 says: For the upright will live in the land And the blameless will remain in it; But the wicked will be cut off from the land And the treacherous will be uprooted from it.

Jonathan's words: Where do you suppose Satan will go when this happens to its fullest extent? Why the bottomless pit of course - fire. Satan today unfortunately has gotten a whole lot of lies circulating the earth, and we, the people are helping him. So who needs a superman? WE DO! Thank God we have one; the man Christ Jesus. but many people rather than believe Christ Jesus and his testimony would rather believe the lies. The bible says we shall be damned if we do believe and follow his lies.

II Thessalonian 2: 11,12: For this reason God will send upon them a deluding influence so that they will believe what is false, in order that they all may be judged who did not believe the truth, but took pleasure in wickedness.

Jonathan's words: We need to find the source of Satan's lies and cut it off. Because believe me we do have the power to do it through Christ , Satan doesn't. I believe Satan shall be cut off from this earth. They don't want him in heaven so they threw him out. We don't want him here so lets throw him off this planet; for as soon as we do look what will happen to him. I'm ready for the abundance of peace for every man, how about you?

Revelation 20: 1-3: Then I saw an angel coming down from heaven, holding the key of the abyss and a great chain in his hand. And he laid hold of the dragon, the serpent of old, who is the devil and Satan, and bound him for a thousand years; and he threw him into the abyss, and shut it and sealed it over him, so that he would not deceive the nations any longer, until the thousand years were completed; after these things he must be released for a short time. Jonathan's words: I looked up the word delusion; Websters described it as something that is falsely or delusively believed or propagated. A second description is; A persistent false psychotic belief, regarding self or objects outside of self. Sp people would be strongly diluted. This I believe has always been the case for the wicked. They want to believe that they can escape judgement and they actually can but ONLY by the blood of the lamb.

Jesus said in John 16:8: "And He, when He comes, will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment; concerning sin, because they do not believe in Me; and concerning righteousness, because I go to the Father and you no longer see Me; and concerning judgment, because the ruler of this world has been judged.

Jonathan's words: That's Satan, he's the loser, why join him? There are many today who believe falsely that they can get off the ride with Satan, and then later, when they grow older and are done doing what they wanted to do in their life, can be saved and go to heaven. Yes, its true some do but many don't. But remember this ...

Jesus said in Matthew 7:21: "Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter. We must also remember though that no one will enter the gates of heaven except through Christ Jesus. This is not for good works but for believing in him, following him, and trying to be like him (Christ-Like).

Ephesians 2:8,9: For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast.

I think what Jonathan is trying to tell us is that we have the power through Christ to change the world. All we need to do is Pray, Read our Bibles, accept the Gifts given to us by our heavenly father, and start working. We have the gift to "Cast down" the demons of this world into silence. We can tell them with our tongues to "Be Quiet" and "Be Muted" for 24 hrs each day in the name of Jesus and they must obey. Think of it, no noise or interference from any demons for 24 hrs in our family, friends, co-workers, government officials, & even in ourselves. Try it! Imagine the revival our world could have! That would mean all the abortionists, murderers, drug users, gang bangers, etc ... etc... would stop what their doing because the demons would not be leading them. Wow! God is so good. They would begin to hear God talking to them. I'm excited about this, aren't you? This is so awesome to me. We the people on this earth have the power through Christ to change our world one day at a time! Get excited people!! Start working!
God Bless,
Mary B.~~